Awesome Anthem. Irksome Move!

It’s been sometime, since I watched a movie in the theatre. I knew they were playing the national anthem in theatres, but was completely surprised that I had to stand and religiously honour it. This is sheer non-sense. I don’t mean to demean the national anthem, but I feel this is supposedly useless and ill-thought of ‘calisthenics’ of the white kurtas.

Why should the general public be put to inconvenience? I go to a theatre to get entertained, not to entertain anybody – especially not the government, which hasn’t had the decency of offering me one single government job so far. All it did was to stealthily put its fingers into my wallet and pick my money in the name of taxes.

Well, if you think I haven’t applied to government jobs, you are wrong. I had applied to several and a few of them called me for an interview and few others didn’t even bother to. The ones, who did, asked me all the wrong questions - deliberately. Later, I came to understand the jobs were handed out to people who didn’t even appear for an interview. Perhaps I wasn’t into greasing hands except watching few snippets of ‘Grease’, where John Travolta greased his hair so much, I lost all appetite for greasing. You don’t believe it?! Believe it (Stole it from the Ripleys! Sorry, it was too good to miss it ;))

Anyway, talking of government driven issues, the sliminess gets even dirtier. I once wrote a PhD exam and the results looked a little tampered. Later, the newspapers carried in the headlines that the pre-doctoral entrance exam was all gobbledegook.

Worried about my future, I rushed to meet the Director. His interest in what I was doing and why I was wasting my time pursuing a doctoral degree caught me completely unawares. When I questioned what he was driving at. He moved closer and whispered, “These exams are for time-pass. Most students get into the doctoral stream so they can avail the university’s boarding and lodging for at least five years”. I was gobbledegooked, again!

Cutting to the chase, why on earth does the government play the national anthem in theatres?! The other day while surfing on the topic I thankfully found a friend who aired similar views – Ram Gopal Varma, the notorious film director. Not all his views match with mine. Which incidentally is a good thing.
  

Ram Gopal Varma’s stinging remarks “If you plan to play the national anthem in theatres, why not in bars? Why not in nightclubs? Why not print it in the first page of the newspapers, everyday?!” created a quite an uproar. But the point wasn’t really taken seriously for the simple reason that it was Ram Gopal Varma’s opinion.

Varma isn’t taken seriously by anyone. Well, how can they?! Especially, when he writes a book and names it ‘Guns & Thighs’! The title is so horrendous, people from literature background wouldn’t know where to hide?! And Nobel laureates would die of shame. Unawares, Varma shamelessly claims the book has a terrific title and is selling like hot cakes. One can do nothing but pity him at times!

However, with all his insanity, he shared one sane opinion ‘Ban the national anthem from playing in theatres’. Finally, someone calls a spade a spade. Although never a fan of Varma, I for one wanted to hug him on his perspective of this illogical and dim action of the government. May Varmas of this kind increase in their tribe!  

New Year Greetings

For long, it has been mandatory on my blog to begin the year with greetings. This year, I won't bypass that rule either. So, here's wishing my readers a happy new year and adventurous and fun-filled  days ahead. Though this greeting comes a tad late in February, it's my request that you dwell on my sincerity rather on the delayed greetings. Cheers! 

Hyderabad’s fast disappearing Deccani Tehzeeb!

Hyderabad is like a delicious dish. Having tasted it once, the tourist or visitor is sure to come back for more. Alas! The city’s glory is fast fading. The broad roads then are crowded with heavy traffic today. The laid-back attitude of Hyderabadis’ relaxing in cafes is no more the norm of the day. Chai and "Biscoot", which formed the daily delights of casual talk, are fast losing their sheen. As it is the morning shows in small theatres have already stopped. The slow-paced lifestyle is evolving to be a life in the fast lane!

However, the legacy of Hyderabad’s richness cannot be fathomed. Like the proverbial saying the proof of the pudding is in the eating, Paradise hotel has classic snapshots of a few places of 1960s and 1970s, which are hung inside the hotel. These snapshots can easily transport to an era where famous places of the city enthrall you with their beauty. The calmness ushers in an unknown peace. There are lots of such nuances which refresh the memories with erstwhile glory.

For instance, the Irani Cafés then had an aura of richness of Mughals. Cafes were designed like western saloons. Chairs had oriental designs. Walls were plastered with Mughal motifs and works. Women on murals wore thick jewellery with eyes delicately touched up with Kajal. Surprisingly, cafes had huge sound systems. Rolling out from these were Hindi classicals doled out by Rafi, Kishore and Mana Dey.

The city of pearls was also known for its rich Nizami legacy. The old city still holds to an extent the allure of bygone eras. The multi-hued, rainbow tinged bangles, the sarees with rich embroidery work, the sweet paan, which is a delicacy tasted after a sumptuous Biryani. Attar, the rich perfume which comes in sparkling colours and in even more dazzling vials… are a few among many things that make Hyderabad an incomparable abode.

Ironically, how many are aware that Hyderabad was known as a city of Gardens? The bio-diversity of the land had attracted many a traveller. The jubilee hills was a jungle where tigers, panthers and snakes used to habitat. Uppal also boasts of a similar story. In fact, I was quite taken back when I heard my boss, who is hitting his 60; mention that Masab Tank was a thick jungle where his father used to go hunting. Imagine all these places, which were once jungles, today leave no traces of such wondrous glory. Slowly these interesting facets of Hyderabad are fading away.

Where am I going with all this, well, I came across a book that had a few classic pictures of Hyderabad that instantly struck a chord with me. I simply couldn’t resist sharing these snapshots, here they go…

Pretty Woman. Pretty Movie.

Flashback to 1994. The day was scorching hot, the comforts of an air-conditioned theatre sounded like a cool option to two college going lads; a quick glance at their time-table revealed they haven’t much to lose. They decided to jump on the bandwagon of college bunkers and sneak into a theatre which had a classical rating of ‘A’. Though a little trepidation and hesitation nudged their hearts, yet, the will triumphed. The movie was ‘Pretty Woman’ starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts.

‘Pretty Woman’, a rom-com genre, has a story as fresh as a rose and a cast that’s truly refreshing! However, it did rub a few critics on the wrong side. Cutting to chase, Vivian Ward (Julia Roberts) the lead actress in the movie stars as a prostitute. Apart from a few unmentionable scenes, the film was quite an eye-opener on lot of issues. The story is all about a rich entrepreneur, who accidentally meets a prostitute and consciously falls in love with her. Sacrilegious?!  No, it isn’t.

Though it sounds incredibly ridiculous, given the circumstances they meet and the peculiar situations the heroine manages to hastily rush into – falling in love for both seems inevitable.

 A few scenes clearly turn you misty eyed, especially the one where Vivian, who is by then a transformed person, enters a showroom only to be shown the door on account of her tawdry dressing. When Edward Lewis (Richard Gere) hears about the cheap treatment meted out to Vivian, he decides to visit the showroom along with Vivian and flex his powerful, financial muscles - the staff is ready to fall down and worship.

Another occasion is when Vivian is at loggerheads as she must attend a formal dinner, but doesn’t know anything about dining etiquette. That’s when hotel manager, Barney Thompson (Hector Elizondo) steps in to show the ropes. The relationship these two share on screen is extremely touching. Scenes like these are quite a few, which never fail to soothe the emotions and add a twinkle to your eye.

What stands as the icing however is when Vivian’s dreams get answered. Vivian’s childhood fantasy of seeing her Knight in the shining armour riding out to her brandishing a sword comes true, when Edward comes searching for her atop a limo, brandishing an umbrella. 

Inside the theatre, half way through the movie, one young lad notices the other lad slowly bring out his hanky and wipe away the tears that seem to well up in his eyes. The other lad tries to hide a guffaw!

On the whole, it wouldn’t be right to say that the movie was good. Actually, it was incredibly haunting and highly romantic. In fact, last year, ‘Pretty Woman’ movie stars celebrated the completion of twenty-five years.

Twenty-five years?! That’s a long a time, you might scream. Definitely it is!

Since then, lot of water has passed under the bridge. Young lads then are grown up adults now. While one lives in America, the other, in India. While one is working as software professional. The other is wasting his time writing reviews… like this one.

Time passes on. 

However, ‘Pretty Woman’ still remains young. 

Chuck Norris. Rajinikath. Steven Seagal - The awesome, Threesome!

I used to like Chuck Norris. I still do. Really!

Not for his acting skills, but for the jokes that are cooked up on his personality. If he weren’t born, the logic-defying, weird jokes wouldn’t exist. Even when the few Indians who knew him were chuckling to themselves on the ridiculously funny witticisms on him, along came Rajinikanth.

Since then, he started taking the bullets instead of - Norris. Suddenly, everyone this side of the planet started liking Rajinikanth. The way I used to like Chuck Norris. Slowly and steadily, he became the butt of jokes. The weird and incredibly funny jokes on him would have you laughing on the floor for days, weeks, months. Alright, let’s not take it too far, but he definitely tickled your funny bone.

What’s more, Indians being Indians, the jokes only got weirder. But the weirder they were, the more they were liked & shared across various platforms.

 But anyway, where are we going with all this?!

Well, it’s got something to do with the almighty…No.   Not Evan, but Steven Seagal. I miss this guy. The last I saw him was in ‘A Good Man’. I wonder if he acted in any other movie after that!

The macho, Aikido master. Who only hits, but never gets hit. Not even once. Not even in films. 

He’s like the South Indian Telugu heroes, the likes of Chiranjeevi, who effortlessly dodge bullets from a rapidly spitting AK 47. But the poor villains – may their souls rest peace – can’t dodge from his .48 bullets which are aimlessly fired. Somehow the bullet seems to know the trajectory of its prey and follows him through lanes and bylanes before blowing him to smithereens and lighting him up in flames.

As if this inexpressible and incomprehensible technology isn’t enough to kill the audiences, Chiranjeevi is also a one man army who can defend himself against the armies of Pakistan, Afghanistan, and China. Perhaps with Russia thrown in too! Believe me, all alone. The directors delight in the fact that the more, the merrier. No doubt, that is a death knell for all audiences, except Chiranjeevi’s ‘die’ hard fans.

Before Chiranjeevi steals all our attention let’s turn our attention to the person in case - Steven Seagal.

I have always wondered how Seagal manages not to get hit. Not even once. The questions that go in circles at the speed of light in my mind are: Do directors ever direct him?! Or does he direct the directors?! Does he think, getting hit once is like dying?!  I mean, can’t a hero get up and fight again after he is knocked down once?! Does he secretly bribe the script writers into giving him a completely dominant one-sided role?! Does he do this for fun or out of boredom?! Someone tell me what the heck goes on behind the scenes?!  Of course, with Steven Seagal calling the shots, even god knows nothing!

Mind you, his expressions are all dicey. Happy. Sad. Tearful. Crying. Ecstatic. Or any other darn expression, nobody does it like Steven Seagal does. He carries the same frowning expression for all. Of course it’s punctuated with mystical smiles and mysterious sadness. But somehow you miss all that and your whole thought process gets stuck on his frown between the knitting of his eyebrows, which seems to be a permanent fixation on his face. Obviously, it is needless to mention – for all movies.

His most romantic onscreen presence would be walking away from the heroine after killing the villain. If that doesn’t account for romance, then I wonder what other moment of his would. He is too much of a man to kiss a girl in public and has too much of an ego to beg a girl with a ring in his hand. He’d rather hit three more bad guys than waste time on such pathetic, wasteful and time-consuming moments. Entirely, his view of course. 

However, there might exist few exceptions, but I am sure those are impracticalities pushed down his throat by  the directors. If you doubt, any of what I have said. Then, perhaps, I need to present some proof. Presto! Here you go…

Araku Valley Reminisces!

A few months ago, I decided to take a break from the hectic office work. I could sense the mountains calling out to me. I absolutely had no interest in displeasing these once-in-a-while magical utterances of the nature. So, citing a non-existent marriage as a reason to a very strict management, I took a bow from the daily duties and set off to relish an unforgettable time in the lap of nature.

Initially, I was undecided as to where to go! Then, Araku valley filled my thoughts. I had visited this place during my college days and had an awesome time! Hoping the trip would do a world of good to me, I caught the next train to Vizag. 

Araku Valley is supposedly around 4-6 hours journey from Vizag, depending on how many hours the train driver plans to stop at each station. I had huge expectations of the train journey, but everything fell flat. The hazards of travelling without proper preparation sprang surprise after surprise.

On train, it was people, people and people everywhere. It was nothing short of miracle that I managed to grab a seat. I sat petrified as any wrong move would leave me seat-less. Imagine, a ride with people falling all over you for 5 hours. Of course, a few among them were good looking ladies too! Not that I liked it, but just saying. ;)

As the train chugged along the tortuous way up the valley the delightful sights gave me chills. The faraway waterfalls descending from canopied shrubbery, the fog romancing the mountain tops, the incessant drizzle drenching the nature around, and the cool zephyr that caressed the skin were enough to put a spring in one’s walk. 
  
But all didn’t go well at the camp. When I stepped on to the shores of Araku, I ran around in circles as almost all hotels were booked. And I had nowhere to go. The thought of returning back in the same train did cross the mind. But, fortunately, there was an old man at a certain hotel’s reception, squint-eyed and hard at hearing, who offered a room. My delight knew no bounds and wanted to hug him, but didn’t, as he might think otherwise. 

Next day, when I ventured out, it was raining again. Still, I trudged along and caught a jeep ride to nearby tourist spot called ‘Chaparai’. By then, the rain had trickled into a mere drizzle. I had an amazing time. There were tribals who did the Dhimsa dance. Bamboo Biryani, which tasted real yummy. The river was only knee-deep and the water gently overflowed on the big rocks making it an exciting tourist spot. 

The weather, which by then was a gentle drizzle, added its own charm. After sometime, I visited the nearby tribal museum which was informative and gulped down coffee at a closeby shop. The coffee beans cultivated at Araku are supposed to brew a greatly delicious coffee. I was glad I had a taste of this ambrosia. However, I skipped the Borra caves. Somehow, I didn’t find it interesting.  I stayed on for almost three days and trekked the forests and relished nature at close quarters. 

As a tourist, if you are looking for exciting stuff to happen, then Araku is not for you. On the other hand, if you are looking for peace and tranquility, it’s an idyllic destination to relish the invigorating greenery all around. The return journey wasn’t so exciting. So I am going to spare you the trouble and steer right away from mentioning it. On the whole, the trip had its own aura of charm which I am sure will remain as an enchanting memory! 

Aparajeethudu – A book launch

It’s quite rarely that I get to attend book launches. Not that I am keen on these events, but this one was unique since the book was translated from English to Telugu. What makes it a little more unique is that the author was none other than my brother-in-law. His autobiography in English – ‘I Will Survive’, launched a few of years ago, was a phenomenal hit. I for one read the book till the wee hours of morning. And without an iota of doubt I agree, it’s a masterpiece!

Although my initial thoughts when he informed that the book was being translated into Telugu language were: why would anyone even think about this?  Why would anyone plan to purposefully commit Hara-kiri? Of course, my anxiety rested in the comprehension that when the book is going strong in English, why tamper with aesthetics of advancement. But, I was proven dead wrong.

The book – Aparajeethudu (Meaning: a victorious person) had a grand festive opening. The launch, which took place amidst the stalwarts of Telugu literature, dazzled with ladies draped in traditional apparel, lending a distinct touch of the Telugu culture. The perfume of jasmine flowers intermingled with musk had one thinking that one was gracing a traditional ceremony of sorts. The venue was lit up with Telugu language lovers and, of course, acquaintances, friends and family members too graced the event in good numbers.

There was Dr. Pattabhiram, the noted psychologist and hypnotist, and a couple of other leading journalists. Their adulations and enhancements on the book delivered goose bumps. Rama Krishna, who I presume is a noted journalist, bestowed praise on the translator for thoroughness of work, while highlighting subtle events that touched a special chord in him. Though a slightly lengthy speech, people listened in rapt attention, because of the enticing narration.

The ladies who compeered the programme knew how to engage the audiences in rapt attention. It was easily evident that those who read the book were touched by its contents. Bhavana, the translator, was appreciated for her hard work and for retaining the rich flavor while succinctly conveying the message. She too praised  the book and its contents while underscoring the difficulty to stand to the expectations of the readers in a different language.

On the whole, the event concluded on a beautiful note and I held the privilege of meeting old friends and relatives and was seriously encouraged to engage in some sort of action. Since, lurking in the shadows isn’t doing any good to my already non-existent image. I hope I can draw some inspiration and set out to write a fiction, which has been one of my dreams. Hopefully…soon.