Thursday, March 28, 2013


Woody Allen. If you have a funny bone, the man is guaranteed to find it. The perplexing thing about him is one can hardly make out what’s cooking in his brain. But when he dishes it out, he is sure to whet your appetite for more!

I believe it’s his ability to put humour in life’s mundane things that makes up for such an endearing personality. Or else how would you explain his whacky lines like “It’s not that I am afraid of death and all, I just don’t want to be there when it happens”. And one that never fails to tip me off with delight is “If you want to make god laugh, tell him about your plans!”

So when I stumbled upon a book by the wayside titled “Side Effects” by Woody Allen, I had no second thoughts about jumping at it. The book, as every Woody Allen’s book, never fails to take your IQ a few notches up and drop it a few notches below, making you wonder what truck just hit you.

The most hilarious part is this strange dialogue that passes between Abraham Lincoln, the former president of United States, whom with all due respects Woody calls, “Abe” and the press secretary, whom with all due respect calls him “Jennings”. This hilarious conversation puts on a diaphanous analysis of the inner workings of Allen’s mind. Few excerpts from the paperback:

 (The following is a one-act play based on an incident in the life of Abraham Lincoln. The incident may or may not be true. The point is that I was tired when I wrote it)

I

 (Lincoln with boyish eagerness beckons George Jennings, his press secretary, into the room)

Jennings: Mr. Lincoln, you sent for me?

Lincoln: Yes, Jennings. Come in. Sit down.

Jennings: Yes, Mr. President?

Lincoln: (Unable to suppress a grin) I want to discuss an idea.  

Jennings: of course sir.

Lincoln: Next time we have a conference for the gentlemen of the press…

Jennings: Yes sir…

Lincoln: When I take questions…

Jennings: Yes, Mr. President

Lincoln: You raise your hand and ask me: Mr. President, how long do you think a man’s legs should be?

Jennings: Pardon me?

Lincoln: You ask me: how long do I think a man’s legs should be?

Jennings: May I ask why, Sir?

Lincoln: Why? Because I have a very good answer.

Jennings: You do?

Lincoln: Long enough to reach the ground

Jennings: Excuse me?

Lincoln: Long enough to reach the ground. That’s the answer! Get it? How long do you think a man’s legs should be? Long enough to reach the ground.

Jennings: I see.

…The story actually rolls into a very complex situation after Jennings questions why he had thought of this answer and who had earlier asked the question which prompted this reply.

Dialogues are sharp. Thoughts, simply outstanding. I guess his books are complete unputtadownables. For those, who haven’t read his works…I can only say you are missing some delightful stuff. 

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