You Will Beg ‘The Tramp’ to Stop Making You Laugh!

Charlie Chaplin. The comic timing of this genius can’t be emulated or matched, ever. I was reading about his life and it’s such a gut-wrenching story, you can’t but feel sorry. Right from the age of five, he commenced performing on stage. His father passed away early. When he was only 14, his mother was confined to a mental asylum.

With no proper financial support, he lived in absolute poverty. He worked as a child labourer for several years. But what a comeback! I, for one, hugely admire those who deliver with odds stacked up against them. In fact, Chaplin is one of the real rags to riches stories. His professional career spans 72 solid years! Can anyone boast of such an unimaginable feat? Chaplin’s tramp look and his ability to make you laugh and cry, often at the same times, is what separate him as an actor extraordinaire.  

Moreover, I believe he writes, directs, acts and produces his own movies. So, if the films don’t perform, the blame squarely rests on his shoulders. However, his movies, as we look back, on have a timing that’s sheer joy and pleasure to watch. In the film, ‘City Lights’, there’s this boxing match, where he keeps hiding behind the referee, it’s so rollicking you’ll end up on the floor in splits. As if his hiding behind the referee isn’t enough, every time the referee steps away, he delivers an unsuspecting blow to the unsuspecting opponent, edging closer to an unsuspecting victory. I tell you, it’s a riot. Many decades have gone by, since this scene was first shot, yet it doesn’t fail to deliver the knock-out punch.

Seen ‘The Great Dictator’? What a show! Who would have guts to film a comical movie of Hitler, the most feared man? Yes. Chaplin would. I remember reading somewhere that Hitler was so annoyingly furious with Chaplin for producing ‘ The Great Dictator’, that he wanted to confiscate the ‘film’ at any cost. But Chaplin put on a ‘fine act’ by disappearing with the film reels. But some other writings also suggest that Hitler, on screening the movie twice in his private chamber, reported that he actually enjoyed the parody! Whatever it was, the film turned out to be a colossal commercial hit – perhaps much to the furore of the fuehrer!  

Actually one falls short of words to express the unbridled and mighty talent of Chaplin. This man has hardly had any peers in his time. Even today, there’s none who can emulate him at such levels of passion and perfection.

If you still entertain doubts about his acting prowess, here’s a clip that will lay your suspicions to rest…And..And…don’t ask me which language the song in the clip is of. Even, I am not quite sure. But you will get the drift…believe me, you will. 

Valentine’s Day!

The dawn of this day would draw one’s breath away. For those in love, you know why it leaves you gasping.  And for those who aren’t, it will anyway rid your lungs off oxygen when someone enquires why you are all alone on this special day. Either way, it’s your breath or your death. Courtesy: Valentine’s Day.

I always wondered why a relationship is celebrated and reveled in on only one particular day. Then, enlightenment dawned as if I was under a Bodh Tree. Of course, the rest of the year everyone’s terribly busy fighting. In fact, the more I analyse this day, the more the disadvantages surface.  First, to indulge in this day, a boy needs to have a girlfriend. And one doesn’t befriend girls easily in these days of high inflation and spiraling costs.

To court a girl, along with stupid guts, one must also have truckloads of cash. Rubbing salt into wounds are girls’ finicky choices that closely infringe on insanity. Chocolates from Switzerland or Germany, flowers of a particular plant (which probably exists only in Siberia), outings to five-star rated places, lunch at Marriot or Park Hayat…the list is often expensive and endless! Even after catering to her lofty dreams, still, that doubt at the back of the head keeps nagging. Will I marry her or am I going to get dumped at the crucial last hour?! Believe me, knowing a woman’s mind is far more difficult than counting all the stars in the Milky Way.

As it is the human species is nerdy. But the nerdier among these two homosapiens is the woman.  She gets a high on the eve of meeting her boyfriend but low if he gets accidentally delayed by seven and half minutes. Of course, his delay is because of chock-a-block traffic (which she actually could see). Yet the poor guy is left to apologise for the rest of the day. When he finally thinks she’s accepted the apology and he thinks they could finally spend some time together, she packs her bag and starts to leave, murmuring something about it being  too late. Of course, the guy is left in the lurch not knowing what truck just hit him.

As if the woman isn’t enough to pour water on carefully woven dreams, there’s another danger lurking around the corner for the unsuspecting love-stricken boys - the Saffron volunteers. These self-declared, righteous individuals’ main agenda for the day is to marry off any pair of boy and girl seen together on Valentine’s Day. My only concern would be in their enthusiasm they don’t marry off a brother and sister by mistake. In fact, I heard last year on Valentine’s Day they barged into a pub and thrashed girls black and blue. Of course, it might be their turn now. But, once they get married. The roles are sure to get reversed. Then they would taste their own medicine. You see, god’s not lost out on his humor. Not yet.

In conclusion, I believe Valentine’s Day could be disastrous for boys!  So-so for girls. But it’s a terrific day for florists and those belonging to entertainment businesses. If you are unmarried and have your finger sticking in the pie of either the florist or the entertainment business, I have every reason to seriously envy you.

The Muffler Man - Fights corruption. Protects women.

You heard of batman and spiderman fighting crime all the time. But heard of muffler man who combats crime in high places? That too in your own neighbourhood?! Meet Arvind Kejriwal, the knight in the shining armour of the estranged woman called ‘Delhi’. Though many had their eyes on her, especially BJP, only Kejriwal was able to woo her completely. And boy! Isn’t she now blissful in the safe arms of this kind man after being tortured and abused for countless years?

As aware, Delhi isn’t just capital for India but for atrocities on women as well. With the trust of the citizens fast eroding, it inevitably was time for a powerful personality to lead from front. Thankfully, a leader with gutsy spirit and resolute focus on rebuilding the lives of the middle-class people has come to power.

Initially, Kejriwal’s victory wasn’t so prominent. While memories of his sudden resignation, after the 49-day stint as the chief minister, haunted him like a ghost, BJP tried its best to deliver a hard knock by pitching Kiran Bedi, the first women IPS officer, against him to stoutly pronounce that BJP was for women empowerment. The logic being: who could defend a woman’s honour better than a woman?!

However, Kiran Bedi proved to be an erroneous preference. Poor oratorical skills and a somewhat tarnished image hadn’t put BJP on a good footing. Her sudden elevation to power has also struck a chord of discord among BJP party cadre. Leaders began to be non-coperative and internal conflicts arose affecting outward performance.

On the other hand, AAP gained its momentum primarily with reformations within the party. Kejriwal’s public apology turned the tables around. What was his weak point soon became his strong point. His early campaigning and addressing of public’s basic needs in common places proved to be effectual in attracting the common man’s interest. His woman empowerment through installing of CCTVs across Delhi stole the hearts of women. Every woman fell for his ‘Jha(a)du’. Though he may not look strikingly handsome, somehow, his political manoeuvres  and promises were extremely attractive for women and, of course, men as well. 

Furthermore, Kejriwal’s pledges were trustworthy because AAP party had a distinguished manifesto to competently deal with the problems of citizens. Every problem was analyzed and relevant solutions were worked out to the T. Precisely why his promises came with certain credibility. The collapse of congress too was a major booster. The Muslim and Christian vote bank tilted in AAP’s favour, giving it a huge lead in this major triumph.

With his ‘Jhadu’ symbol, Kejriwal has swept every woman and man alike off their feet. 

Now that he is fully geared up with his muffler and all ...to fight crime in his own inimitable style, watch out all ye dark and shady dealers.  

Gyan from an ‘Autowala’

I was going through someone's writing when I came across the story of how an autowala spoke impeccable English, surprising the passenger.

Instantly, my thoughts drifted back to a similar incident and started mulling over it. Oh God! It was shock of the shocks. The incident is still fresh in mind. It was the wee hours of morning; the sun was yet to light up the sky with its golden glow, I arrived at Hyderabad from Karnataka on a train and desperately sought to go home since I had a tiresome night. Knowing the sneaky cunningness of autowalas, I was cautious in choosing my ride. However, there was this huge six-footer, weighing more than 100 kilos, doggedly pursuing me to pick his auto. His hair was unkempt and nails, long and grimy. Though his appearance was deceptive, his plea, I judged, was genuine. So, I took the ride, throwing aside caution to the wind. However, I emphatically expressed that I would not pay a penny more than the meter reading. He nodded, agreeing to the deal.

While journeying home in the auto, I was submerged in a book by Graham Greene. Giving me a backward glance, the auto driver asked me who the author was. For a moment I was completely taken aback. Pardon?! And he enquired again, “Is the writer Arthur Hailey?”.  I said, “You know Arthur Hailey?” He quipped, “Yes”. My curiosity peaked; you mean you heard of him?! “Actually, I read his books Hotel, Airport and others” he answered. Then he spoke to me in flawless English but you could make out he hadn't used it - as the trade he was in never necessitated it. But one can effortlessly make out he was well read by the way he spoke of the authors and what their books were about.

He lauded a book called ‘Roots’ though I have come across this title often, I always thought I’ll pick it up later. 'Roots' is actually a saga of an American family. But after my some what recent reading of 'Gone with the Wind' I was little hesitant to pick a classic, for sometime at least. He said, after reading this book, he literally wept. I was completely enamored, because you don’t come across auto drivers who read Arthur Haileys and shed tears on reading emotional classics. He actually spoke of two more authors with much reverence. But I don’t remember the names now as this happened sometime ago. I was quite refreshed talking to this guy.

When I enquired what actually happened?! How did he come into this profession? He explained that his father expired when he was still in college and he was forced to take up the mantel of fending for himself and his family. But I saw no regret on his face. His auto was strewn with Telugu and English newspapers, emphasising his interest in reading. On getting down the auto, I paid him the amount the metre showed. Not a penny more; not a penny less.

Of course, I did tip him twenty bucks more for reading good books. 

Deccani Tehzeeb

In Hyderabad, when someone speaks to you in bold Urdu with a laid back attitude, donned in a fine silk kurtha, which renders the immediate vicinity with the sweet smell of musk, remember you could be talking to a direct descendant of Salar Jung Bahudur Shah Jafar or someone of similar royal standing. Though the link may not be obvious, you could still put a finger on his lineage to some extent. You see, Nizam had lot of wealth and wives. Of course, what followed was sons, grandsons, great-grandsons and great, great grandsons. So, somewhere down the line, the count got lost. But who is blaming?!  Definitely not me!

On a  more solemn timbre, the disarming charm of Hyderabad is so enticing, no matter which part of the globe you totter to, Hyderabad memories are bound to restively haunt. But what’s so gripping about this place? To begin with, ‘Hyderabad Biryani’, a dish that has made inroads into the kitchens of culinary gods of the likes of Gordon Ramsays. Michael Jackson and other celebrities have not indulged in this delicacy for nothing. They found in ‘Hyderabadi Biryani’ a delectable and succulent dish which they thought was worth carrying across seas in their tummies. As for me, a Hyderabadi food freak, if a foreigner doesn't tickle his taste buds with this delicacy during his brief stay in Hyderabad, he is an imbecile. An ignoramus. An abomination. An imbecalupamopus…whatever that means!

‘Irani Chai’ is another equally alluring feature of the city. A true blue Hyderabadi would resist anything but chatting with friends over a cup of chai. That he simply can’t.  Endless hours of chatting is followed by endless cups of chai. Sometimes, its hours, before the shop owner realizes that you pocketed more money than you spent on chais by overusing the overhead fan. That’s when he decides to blast you off the premises with his blaring radio, which is kept handy by his side. Wonder where these record players or radios have disappeared these days?

‘Osmania Biscuit’ - another delicacy that takes its name from the erstwhile Nizam himself. Fortunately, he doesn't complain. That’s because he is no more. But, tell me honestly, who actually complains against this melt-in-the-mouth delicacy that warms its way to your heart when partially dipped in pipping Irani Chai. Definitely, not me. Neither the shop owner. Of course, Nizam, as we know, won’t, since he can’t.

‘The Narrow Lanes’. Have you ever been to Charminar?! Well, if you haven’t. Let me warn you not to bring your car …because there are enough slow-moving, cud-chewing rides dominating the roads. Not that I am suggesting a ride on these rides. But these rides could come in the way of your ride. As it is the  roads are not made for any of these rides. Somehow both manage all the time. What the heck, it is Hyderabad… Dekh ke chelo bhai!

‘Laad Baazar’ – of course the only criteria that would make you love this place is: if you are a woman or if you have a girl friend and you are mad enough to gift her, gifts. Bangles of this place are colourful and come at a price that make you jump up and clap your feet together in glee. Even if you are here with wife, and she is buying dozens and dozens of these bangles, you can still keep a straight face and smile from ear to ear. That’s because it’s all going to be an ‘invaluable’ experience!

Frankly, Hyderabad has lot more interesting things to talk about. Since it’s a Hyderabadi writing, who has this laid back attitude about everything, you can’t keep your expectations high. 

Kya Correct bola na mein?! 

Is the genie in the urn real?

Earlier, during my childhood days, there existed a monthly magazine called ‘Chandamama’ (For all I know, it might still do) which was immensely popular. I used to eagerly look forward to this magazine to hit our doorstep as it comprised fascinating stories classically interwoven with oriental and melodramatic pictures. What generally caught my attention was the section which had at least one story from the ‘Arabian Nights’. Perhaps, it was here that I had my first encounter with ‘Aladdin and the Magic Lamp’ anecdote. I was totally in raptures. Ever since; I always pondered whether in life there was anything or anyone called ‘Genie’ who would effectively deal with our problems without us ever getting our hands dirty.  

Though I did not consciously believe in ‘Genie’ subconsciously I wished he would materialize and my problems would evaporate. This may sound strange but what may not sound strange is that similar thoughts are echoed in the book ‘Aladdin Factor’, which is co-authored by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. Canfield and Hansen in unequivocal terms suggest that the ‘Genie’ does exist but he is within us. The way they articulate this fact is not only inspiring but strikingly eye-opening.

The book ‘Aladdin Factor’ guides you to realizing your true potential through insightful topics such as ‘The masters of the lamp’, ‘Knowing what to wish for’,  ‘Lighting the lamp’, ‘Conquering the labyrinth of fear’ and ‘How to ask, who to ask and what to ask’ and a few others. Each topic aptly deals with overcoming barriers and bringing to fore skills and talents that fetch fame and money in the market place. The entire book hinges on the philosophy that most people remain non-achievers because they are afraid to ask. Solid paradigms with pertinent stories drive home this point lucidly.

Almost all self-books, which I have read and advocated many to read, talk about inner strengths and overcoming obstacles. Failure, though others may laugh at initially, will impart lessons that will make you reach higher and go further. Sometime ago, I had actually done a serious write-up on self-help books and its influence for a regional publication. I wrote the piece more from an insightful experience than with a focus to enlighten crowds. Actually, at home, the shelves are crammed with self-help books, half of which, I haven’t read so far. Though there are countless  books in this particular genre, there haven’t been many in the league of authors like Brian Tracy, Jack Canfield, Anthony Robbins… 

In conclusion, let me leave with you an inspiring poem which I picked from the book ‘Aladdin Factor’ …

When I was a beggary boy,

And lived in a cellar damp,

I had not a friend or a toy,

But I had Aladdin’s lamp…

   -James Russel Lowel

Running 10 k; thinking with the feet firmly on ground.

Whenever I stumble upon runners who finished half-a-marathon or marathon, my admiration for them soars to the skies. How on earth do these guys run such long distances? Besides, facebook sure has a way of rubbing salt into wounds -since most relatives or friends, who finish these races; subsequently post their marathon-participating pictures on facebook. This is enough for me to instantly turn from red to green.

Some time ago, a close aide completed half-a-marathon and marathon. On a little bit of prodding, he enlightened me that preparation is decidedly crucial and a defining factor in such events. Thoroughly inspired by his triumphs, I decided to participate in a 10k run. With the word ‘practice’ constantly echoing within the head, every day, I would return from workplace early to jog on a long stretch of road. On completion of that stretch, I would catch a bus back home. Not that I couldn’t choose a shorter route and jog up and down, but I believe a long stretch delivers a huge feeling of accomplishment. Believe me, it worked magic.

A week’s running had put me in a good stead, and I felt confident I could take on the world, leave alone the 10k run. Consequently, I participated in the 10k, which had Milkha Singh delivering an inspiring talk, underscoring the significance of watching movies like ‘Bagh Milka Bagh’. Since 10k was quite a distance, I was under the impression only a handful would complete the race. To my utter disbelief, I saw a few women race past me. For a moment, I didn’t know where to hide. Moreover, the long stretch of run offered no proper hiding places. So, despite tragedies such as woman overtaking me, I stuck to my routine and finished the course.

But, what comes as a cherry topping is that the run was well-organized as the entire length was dotted with medical teams and volunteers. They doubled up as cheerers, who lent an additional flavor to the otherwise daunting routine. That apart, there were live rock bands performing, school children playing bagpipes, excellent Karnatic singing… you can say the run turned out to be a colourful affair although. I was elated that I could finish the whole thing without any trouble.

With a 10k run under my belt, I now have my eyes focused on a half-a-marathon, which is scheduled to be in August this year. I sincerely hope I won’t take a flight looking at the distance…