Friday, May 24, 2019

Music for free! Death, at a cost.

No life is worth living without a passion for at least one thing - a philosophy I always held close to my heart. The more leisure pursuits one has, the richer his life is guaranteed to be is the general notion that binds the heart strong. But, hold the breath, not all leisure pursuits are healthy. Hobbies like smoking and drinking could be costly. Drinks are usually laced with subtle poison that only draws you closer to death. Every sip is a walk in that direction of the dark recess of hell. I realized this, when I looked in the eye of death, which danced on my friend’s face long time ago. The memories are still fresh in my mind.  
  
Flash back – 2008 I was working for an ad agency, where I met Benji who was an ace copywriter, I envied the way his words formed sentences and the paragraphs, of course, literally blew me away. That’s when I drew close to him to draw on some of his wisdom and replicate his magic on the paper. But, he was genius who danced to a different beat - a man given to too many whims and fancies. A few include women, drinks, smoking, and songs.

Married, yet, his eyes always ogled around for more flesh. I hoped his scales on the eyes would drop and his inner eyes would open, making him realize that there’s more to life than woman’s flesh. But, he preferred to keep his scales on. And I was left with no choice but ignore his wretched heart but hang on to his every word of writing. Of course, his music collection was another thing he held close to his heart. That only heightened our bond of friendship since music was my “love” too!

His taste in songs swung from one end to the other, including remotest Spanish groups to hardcore rock bands. Gypsy kings to Metallica he had a taste for heavenly as well as ungodly music. I loved to talk to him when he was sober, which was extremely rare. This was usually towards the end of the month, when he had philandered away his money and had money only to buy food, not enough for smokes or drinks. That’s when philosophy poured out of him unabated.

That’s also when he shared me what books he liked to read, how he had come to craft copy that had the hearts of the clients and customers with equal ease. He was boastful; I felt no offence, because with writing skills as his, I thought he was entitled to! When he spoke of writing he had a glaze in his eyes, he was lost in thought, and his body acted strange. Anybody, looking at him would immediately scream he is on a high. Yes, if it weren’t the smokes and drinks that couldn’t give him the high, it was the writing he seemed to snort on to get that high. I once took his works to a client; the client screamed in elation and said, “Damn, here’s someone who can really write, someone who knows how to translate thoughts!”

I loved to stare at his work; in fact, I stole his notebooks from him, so I knew how to draft copy that looked like his but was actually mine. I would have given my arm and a leg to write like that. If you think it’s too much, leg it! ;) Nevertheless, all was not well in Benji’s camp. Once, in the dead of the night, I got a call.  Benji’s voice whispered, “Dan, where are you man?” I screamed, “Benji, its 2 am in the morning what the hell’s wrong with you? Calling me at this unearthly hour?”

But, I could hear him breath hard and heavy. “I am not feeling well, man. Can you take me to a hospital, he blurted out. I scrambled out of bed. Put on something    warm as it was in the middle of chilly winter, drove to his place in a matter of minutes. Benji was lying on the bed mourning with pain. One look at him told me he was in bad shape. We hired a car and went to the nearest hospital.

But, as it was night, no facilities were available, so we had to wait till morning to get the tests done. When the results came out we hurried back to the doctor. The doctor looked at the results and said, “Benji, You are in an awfully bad shape, one drop of whisky or alcohol of any sort will kill you. Be careful. Be very careful. Don’t touch alcohol.” Knowing Benji, I knew this would be impossible.

In fact, when I first joined the agency, I had a dream that Benji was going to die, and in that dream, it may sound strange, but God wanted me to warn him. It was quite scary. When I told him that he was doing something wrong and god was not in synch, he instantly put his finger on the weakness. He said, “I only drink, Dan. How can god be offended at that? I am not harming anyone”, he explained.  

I exchanged the Biblical gyan that our body is the temple of god, one who destroys it, him will god destroy.” He got scared, “He said, “Dan, you are scaring me, man. I am going home now, if boss asks, tell him, I am not feeling well. He scooted out of the office, hopped into an auto and disappeared into the crowds. The next day, he was usual self, chirpy and slightly drunk.  This was all before our trip to the doctor when he was unwell.

However, as days passed, Benji stopped coming to the office, having a vague feeling, I scurried to his house, I could see him sleeping from the window, after I rang the bell a couple of times, I asked the servant, “Why isn’t he answering the doorbell?” He replied, “He does the same to me, sometimes, he answers, sometimes he doesn’t.”

I left the house, knowing he is drunk stupid to open the door. After a couple of months, I got a call again from Benji. Dan, I am not feeling well.

I scuttled to his house and could make out that he was drunk as usual. Then, realizing that things are not in his favour, I asked him where his family stays. He said, “My sister stays in Mumbai.” I called her up, she was receptive, “we actually advised him not to go to Hyderabad, since we would have no control of stopping him from drinking, but he wouldn’t listen” she replied.

She then sent me an air ticket from Hyderabad to Mumbai for Benji to my mail iddy, I dutifully handed it out to him saying he might think of returning to Hyderabad once he gets alright, knowing pretty clear it was a mammoth task. He agreed, next day, with a new zest, he swung his bag of belongings over his shoulder and walked and got into the car waiting for him to take him to the Hyderabad Airport.  That was the last I saw of Benji.

Months passed, one day, I thought of calling him. After a lot of rings, a voice came over, “Hello?” “Hi Benji, this is Dan, you remember?”  “Yeah, yeah. How are you doing man?” he replied. His slur in the speech spoke clearly of his unabated drinking.  He was inebriated as usual, I chit-chatted for some time and hung up. I was pretty cross at him for not giving up his darned habit as could literally see the writing on the wall that he is headed the wrong way at full throttle.

One afternoon, I was industriously caught up in some church work, when the mobile rang, I said, “Hello?” The voice on the other end answered, “Hi there! This is Benji’s sister, I have a bad news. Benji is no more”. I stopped in my tracks. I knew this would happen, but not that soon. “Oh, I am sorry”, I replied.

She then asked me for help.  “Can you please settle Benji’s bills at Hyderabad as he wouldn’t be coming back? Please sell off everything he owns (which were bare necessities) and pay off the rent, the servant salary, etc.” I wholeheartedly offered help out. After everything was put on the market, there was still the music system and a good number of CDs. I asked Benji’s sister what I I should do with them. She said, “Danny, I think you can keep the system and the CDs. That’s the least I can do for all the assistance”. That came as a complete surprise as he had an awesome collection of music CDs - at least a 100 and above. More than the system, it was the CDs that drove me mad. It was a windfall of fortune. Nevertheless it was all a mixture of pain and happiness. 

After all these years, I still miss Benji. He had a gem of a talent but he couldn’t harness it to its full potential. The bosses too, knowing him as a drunk, paid half of what he was worth. But, he didn’t mind as he just needed money for drinks.

Though I miss him, there’s this particular CD of his which had a beautiful mix of numbers like “Sweet Caroline”  “Hit the Road Jack”  “Pretty Woman”  “Hundred Miles Away from Home”  “Oh Carol” …and others that  remind of the good times we have had when Benji was sober. I play this CD often in my car when I am on a long journey and the good old memories come right kicking in. Those were truly awesome days! 

No comments:

And The Oscar Goes To...

This was published in the newspaper The Hans India  The 92 nd   Oscar Awards are all poised to razzle-dazzle with big guns of film frate...